Communicating Effectively

"In 250 – 300 words describe the essential principles of communication and provide examples of its benefits, forms, and purposes." But, can you really? Can you really fully describe essential communication in such a short span? Maybe not, but I'm not going to complain. Honestly, I haven't always been the best conveyor of messages, and it's not because I lack verbal skills, or that I'm shy, or that I don't have a firm grasp of who my audience is. For me, it's always been about delivery and approach. For a while now I have been involved in the intriguing world or labor relations. There's two sides, you see: there's management, and they don't want to budge one inch; and there's the union, and they're asking for the moon and offering little in return. Of course, each side is fully convinced that they are either right or entitled, and then they all crowd into a room, each side making sure to have as many as the other, and off they go playing an intricate game of "gotcha!" And I fit right in because, well, I enjoy the tension, and I'm good at the "not backing down," and in the end, not much is accomplished. But that was the old me, right? Sort of. I'm getting older, wiser, and less fond of the kill shot. What get's lost in that poor communication setting is the intent of the exchange; we're there to try and come to an agreement in an effort to improve the lives of the workers we represent, and the employees that work for us, and in between the tugging back and forth, the people we're trying to help end up with the short end of the stick. Was it worth it? Not really.


Then 2 years ago I had the privilege of attending a week long course in becoming a certified neutral, commonly know as a mediator. And this wonderful group of 5 people really changed my outlook. These folks took communicating effectively to a whole other level. Not only did they teach me to communicate better, they helped me help others do so, as well. And it was really simple. The mediation process is all about facilitating communication between two parties that have reached an impasse. The most common roadblock to effectively communicating is emotion. Sometimes the parties are extremely passionate about the subject and are entrenched in their point of view. Other times it's a matter of poor communication. Sometimes cultural differences can even be obstacles to communicating effectively, especially when one person does not understand or tolerate the other.


Diane Cohen writes in her weekly blog (http://www.mediate.com/blogs/):


In a recent mediation, it became clear that there was a miscommunication between the parties about an important matter. I asked the listener how he had heard the statement made by the speaker, and asked the speaker what he had meant to say. I then asked each whether they would have changed the way they had expressed themselves or reacted if they had known what the other party meant to say or how the other would hear what they said. The parties suggested and agreed upon ways to avoid such misunderstandings in the future.


The bottom line is that effective communication is the same in every setting: you have to have a source that is sending a clear, coherent, relevant, and interesting message, and you have to have receivers who are actively listening to that message, understand what is being sent, and are interested in the content of the message. That's it. Without those ingredients, no technology in the world will help you communicate. Everything else should take care of itself. This is true whether it's face to face, or via email, or over the telephone.


I've had the opportunity to speak in front of people on many different occasions. The sending and receiving aspects are pretty simple to understand, so I want to concentrate on the relevant and interesting parts. I think these are the most important ingredients in the mix. Perhaps the most important is whether the message you're sending is interesting to your audience. You've all been there, in that boring meeting or class that everyone is playing bobble head, and you're feeling like the end of life as we know it can't come soon enough. I've been there too, on the receiving and the giving end, and I can tell you, it's not pleasant, especially if you're someone like me who's a crowd pleaser. I would rather send it in an email than bore folks to death. Even if it's relevant, and you're audience HAS TO BE THERE, you have to make it interesting. Know your audience. Are they dazzled by fancy PowerPoint slides? Do they like the occasional joke? Are they all about statistics? Whatever it is, play to them. If your presentation is boring, you might as well read them the back of a mayonnaise jar because, let me tell you, they are not listening.


This brings me to what I consider to be one of the greatest speeches in the history of the United States. Picture the setting: Hitler is running rampant through Europe; our ships are getting their butts kicked by the Nazi Wolfpack subs in the Atlantic; our bomber boys are losing more men on daylight bombing raids over Germany than the Marines are losing to ground combat; and you, a young man of barely 20, who otherwise would have his whole life ahead of him; is about to storm the beaches of some place dubbed Omaha Beach, not even knowing if you'll make it off the landing craft ramp, much less up the 100 foot cliffs. And then, the man himself, General George "Old Blood and Guts" Patton, is about to speak, and tell you why you want to go on that beach, and up that cliff, and that you would rather be nothing if you were to miss this opportunity to serve your country. If you've never read the speech, please click. If you've seen the movie Patton, where George C. Scott portrayed the famous General, then you might appreciate it just a bit more. This is effective communication. Here it is: http://www.pattonhq.com/speech.html.